It’s A Stressful Job But Someone’s Got To Do It
There’s no debate among anyone that the world is one heck of
a stressed out place. Between spouses, children, jobs, possible second jobs,
bills and all the fact that every time you turn on the news the world seems
like it’s on the brink of collapse it’s a surprise we’re not all mid nervous
breakdown. I always thought I had a handle on it. I really did. Sure, I’ve had
some pretty high stakes, high stress jobs in the past. I managed. I published.
I did not perish.
Then I
stepped out of the corporate world and into the world of the full-time writer.
And apparently I didn’t know squat about stress before now. Paychecks are no
longer secure for me. There is no one else to pull the extra workload should I
get sick, hurt, or generally feel like slacking off. Everything rests on my
shoulders. Meanwhile? Because I’m at home most of the house hold chores now
fall on my shoulders too. Work is now slotted into 15 minute increments between
coloring and reading stories and trying to figure out how the hell you make a meatloaf.
I’ve
been both the world’s most wonderful mom for working all three days of the
bookfair and showing up to help at school and the worst according to my Oldest
because things that she wants now I have to say no to that back when I had a
secure paycheck I could have just whipped out my wallet and bought.
All in
all though the past nine months have been a learning experience. A chance for
me to grow. I’ve gotten much more comfortable putting myself out there rather
than hiding behind the rest of a work team. I’m more willing to take a risk.
I’ve also learned that sometimes a coloring break is the best way to deal with
the fact that something in my world isn’t working.
I’ve also learned to set boundaries
– times when I look at the people in my life and say “no, I need to work” and
“no I won’t get up at 4 am to do my stuff so I’m free to do yours later in the
day”. I’ve also learned that the math and science parts of me haven’t died now
that I have a more creative based career. As my hubby puts it I have schedules
and goal worksheets and an organizational system that would make the most
hardened efficiency expert weep tears of jealous rage. I have goals that if I
succeed them would make Nora Roberts look like a slacker (if that’s possible
after 200 books).
But the biggest thing I’ve learned
in the past 9 months? I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to go with your
gut and know that you’re doing the right thing. Am I stressed out to the brink
right now? You better believe it. Would
we be more secure if I hadn’t made this decision? You betcha. But I can’t bring
myself to be upset about it. You know why? Because even stressed to the gills
I’m happier than I’ve ever been before.
2 comments:
You hang in there, lady. You're chasing something valuable here.
I have to remind myself everyday that I had to work my tail off to get into my previous career. 6 years of college, countless days of thinking, "what the heck am I doing? I could be making real money instead of toiling away in school." I was always farther away from goal than I wanted.
Then I was there. Suddenly it was worth it. This writing thing is no different. We're going to have to work our butts off. Giving up is always going to be there. But you're right; we're doing what we love (for a change in my case). This is where I want to be, and it's going to be a struggle getting to where I want to go.
But that's OK.
EJ's right - you are chasing something valuable. And it's the day to day little things that will get you where you want to be.
Good luck.
Post a Comment