Rejection is hard to take. When it's a rejection of something that we've created from within our hearts, that 'No' takes on a whole 'nother dimension. Ironically, sometimes that 'R' hits harder than at other times.

We've all had agents and/or editors say "Thanks but no thanks." If we enter contests or query, we'll finally find those 'sorry' verdicts become a little easier to deal with because they're more frequent. Usually we develop a thick skin and keep writing.

But now and then, one will hit us like a Louisville Slugger. And no matter the amount of rationalization we apply to this one single instance, it takes on humongous significance. And despite other approvals (perhaps in the form of contest finals), we're suddenly convinced we can't put two words together coherently. It's happened to me and it's happened to my friends. It's hard to figure out. Why that one No in the midst of several Yeses can have such a psychological impact. But it can.

I've been thinking about this phenomenon for awhile--since a friend who got one particular rejection just stopped writing. She was a contest winner. She had an agent. She's a good writer and had been published in other formats. But that one negative reaction slammed into her like a hurricane on the Gulf Coast.

Once that happened she doubted herself. She couldn't write a page without going back and revising and editing until she was so frustrated, she couldn't continue. Consequently, she didn't write for several months. She spent months researching but never committing word to page.

Recently, she's begun to come around and produce some serious words without second guessing herself. God willing, she'll be back creating her outrageously touching stories--very soon.

What makes us do that? I think maybe it's because that one rejection comes from a person (or contest or publishing house) whose approval we want so very much. And when that person, whom we secretly (or not so secretely) admire, says, "Ummmm...maybe not..." we see it as a rejection not of the story, but of our dreams, our abilities and of--ourselves. A person we admire says we're not worthy. It feels like a betrayal.

It's not. It's not you. It may not even be the story. It may be the market. It may be what editors are asking for today, which is not the story you wrote. It may be a dozen other reasons that have nothing to do with you, Jane (or John) Doe. Just give yourself a little bit of time to mourn, then get going on the next project. Yes, it's easier said than done. No, it's not impossible.

You've got more than one story to tell. But you can't publish them if you don't write them. So get going.

Writers are cautioned not to take rejection personally. But it's hard not to.
How about you? Have you ever been in a situation when a rejection has prompted you to stop writing? How did you overcome it?